The Truth About Midlife Women And Cougar Dating
The Proposal is a romantic comedy that made box office records on its debut weekend because of how much it surprised people. The movie stars Sandra Bullock at 44, and she is paired up with Ryan Reynolds at 32 in it. The movie also features Bullock in her very first naked scene - a kind of scene that she hadn't done in any of her past roles. The overall message seemed to be that a woman can be hot in her forties. However, the film didn't mention the age difference between Bullock and Reynolds during its publicity nor was it ever mentioned in any of their interviews.
Ashton Kutcher and Demi Moore. Kurt Russell and Goldie Hawn. Tim Robbins and Susan Sarandon. These are just some of the successful and popular couples of younger men and midlife women out there. These women are sometimes called "cougars", by the way. One way to dehumanize women is to put labels on them and placing them into different categories. This makes them seem objectified - almost less than human. After you label an object or an animal, most of all as a mythical or fantasy entity, or as an animal, then you can contain and control them. After that, you can do what you want to do and treat them with less consideration and respect if you wish. Throughout history, women have been placed into different categories and generalizations, like the Bad Woman, the Mother and the Saint.
Since cougars don't fit the last two categories, this leaves them with the Bad Woman.
What exactly is a cougar, though? Generally speaking, a cougar refers to a woman in her 30s or 40s who looks for younger men to have sexual or romantic relationships with. They are apparently very sexual and don't necessarily look for cohabitation, children or even basic commitment.
Since they are called "cougars", several things are implied, such as predation, cunning traits, manipulation, attacking, and sneakiness. The term seems to imply that these woman are animals that are deceitful, over-sexed or sex-starved - sharp nails optional.
Other related definitions include "cougar dens" and "cougar-juiced".
"Cougar dens" refer to parties that cougars arrange to meet up with younger men that they can have sex with.
"Cougar-juiced", on the other hand, refers to a word that men use when they have successfully been preyed on by a cougar. "Juicing" her basically refers to their sexual conquest as a whole.
After reading about these descriptions and definitions, do older women really want to be "cougars" - sexual predators driven by their sexual desires and organs and just having sex for the sake of it?
Conversely, when it comes to single and sexual men, there aren't any special terms; they're just called men. In fact, if a man ends up having sex with a woman on the first date, he will be called "lucky". Instead, single and sexual men are categorized based on their career status, their sexual abilities, their achievements in sports, and their income. If a man in his forties dates or has sex with a woman in his twenties, he might even be praised for his sexual power and virility.
When single women are sexual, they are automatically given derogatory labels because of it - labels that show that sexual women aren't socially acceptable nor are they even normal. These labels seem to say that sexual women are aberrations as opposed to healthy human beings. Since midlife women are considered to be sexual, they are looked at negatively by the general public.
Not too long ago, women were known as dried up, unsatisfied, unsatisfying and dysfunctional creatures after they reach 40 years old and could no longer have children. These women were usually wives and if their sex lives were fulfilling, people would assume that she wasn't doing her job as Mother or Virgin well. She was then seen as a Bad Woman.
Media And The Midlife Woman
Some people seem to think that "cougars" were merely created and driven by the media and that they will eventually vanish from existence. Could they really be gone a year from now? Popular TV shows, such as Brothers and Sisters, The Closer, Sex and the City, and Damages showcase women as intelligent, confident and good-looking professionals who lead good personal lives at the same time. Cougar Town is another show, where Courtney Cox plays the role of a sex-starved housewife and a reality dating TV show, The Cougar.
Hollywood movies have joined the hype, as well, with 2008's Sex and the City movie leading the pack - a movie that had the biggest opening in history for a movie that focused mainly on women. More movies came out after that, as well, include 2009's My Life in Ruins, though there wasn't any mention about the age difference between Alexis Georgeoulis, 34, and Nia Vardalos, 46. Cheri is a movie starring Michelle Pfeiffer, 51, who enjoys a sexual and romance relationship with Rupert Friend, 27, a man almost half her age.
In The Rebound, another cougar dating relationship is show cased between a 25-year-old and Catherine Zeta-Jones, 39. Julie & Julia stars Meryl Streep, 60, who plays the role of a real-life chef named Julia Child - a woman who got married to a younger man, played by Stanley Tucci, 49.
Midlife Women In Real Life
Women aged 35 and up tend to be more confident and busy with their careers, so they aren't focused on living their lives for a man and helping him follow his dreams and goals. They are much more comfortable and relaxed, in general, too, so they don't let men dictate them in any way.
They aren't obsessed with looking like Playboy bunnies or supermodels, either. Instead, they know how their minds and bodies work, and don't get confused or even forget their identities just because they are involved with a man. They don't even listen to men if they don't want to. They just observe them every now and then.
In real life, many men prefer women between 35 and 60 years old that are 10 to 20 years older than them. This is because men find stability and confidence highly attractive. They also like the fact that older women don't play mind games.
Midlife women in today's day and age have definitely evolved, so they have better options in life, in general. The ones who live in developed nations also have better access to healthcare and have more control over their sexuality and their bodies. Plus, they have better options in terms of exercise.
Younger Relationships
If you happen to be a midlife woman yourself, then you should know that you aren't a fantasy or mythical creature, or an animal driven by sexuality. You should know that you are a complicated human being with a career, friends, relatives, choices, opinions, challenges, interests, and sexuality. Deciding to date someone younger is like deciding to date any other man out there, including the challenges that you may face in healthcare or finances, and the roles that you let the media and the people around you play when it comes to your relationship.
The reason why finances and healthcare were mentioned is because you have to pay special attention to those two areas. After all, you will have to make sure that you stay in control of your financial resources in the long run. Women generally don't make the same amount of money as men do, so you have to protect your assets as much as possible. Love and money should never be interconnected, so don't automatically assume that your love today can keep your finances safe tomorrow.
Also, women tend to live much longer than men, so more female senior citizens are living in poverty now. Keep your future safe and keep your retirement in mind. As for healthcare, keep in mind that midlife women have special needs and have to take great care of their body as they experience menopause and other aging problems as time goes by.
Again: midlife women are human beings, not animals. They can control their relationships as much as they want to. And, if the indications are all true, the media and hype around "cougars" should vanish soon and become hardly noticeable within the years to come, while the cougar relationships endure. Just take a look at Tim and Susan, and Kurt and Goldie. Here's to your overall success in love and life!